Self Sabotage or Resistance?

Posted on November 9, 2013

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
Carl Jung

What's the difference between selfsabotage and resistance? In an earlier blog post about resistance, I talked about ways to recognize it and the source of it (fear). I never really defined it, so here I go....

Taken from Merriam Webster dictionary, resistance is:

•  refusal to accept something new or different

•  effort made to stop or to fight against someone or something

•  the ability to prevent something from having an effect

  Resistance is the action that springs from being in denial. And it is not unrealistic to consider that sometimes it is fear keeping us in denial. A few examples are: 1) not leaving an unhealthy relationship because of being afraid of how to make it on one's own and telling yourself "it's not that bad" meanwhile turning a blind eye to the problems 2) Getting a diagnosis of diabetes or high cholesterol and preferring to take a pill to "correct" the problem because making the lifestyle change makes you cringe or worse you worry you won't have anything to look forward to anymore because food is the source of your happiness, 3) being a "people pleaser" and thinking if you change no one will like you or suddenly your life would be empty, so you continue people pleasing not because you want to, but because you fear rejection.

  So how is that different than self sabotage? Sabotage is defined as "the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it does not work correctly". So, in sabotage we may be fully aware and on some level accept that something needs to change, and REALLY WANT TO CHANGE IT, but for some reason that we don't quite grasp we continue living a lifestyle that doesn't promote what it is we're working towards changing. What is the drive behind us not acting in accordance to the way we want to live? In my opinion, it's our unconscious thoughts and energetic imprints on our mind, body, and emotions that keep us "stuck".

  For now, let's discuss unconscious thoughts, which mean thoughts you're simply not aware you're having. Did you know your mind is always thinking? Maybe you are judging what is in front of you, or you may be thinking about what needs to happen later or what you did last night or what "so and so" said or did over the weekend. Maybe you're analyzing about how to solve a problem or meet a specific need. The list really is endless. It is noted, but certainly not proven that the average person has thousands of thoughts per day. I've seen articles written that suggest 5,000 and others that suggest well over 100,000 in just 24 hours. To get to know the saboteur part of you means getting to these unconscious thoughts and becoming aware of them. How does one do that, you ask?

  Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  Begin a meditation practice! 20 minutes per day is ideal, but if you have a hard time with this, start off with 3 minutes and work your way towards more. It's best if you can create a meditation practice that begins and ends at the same time each day. First thing upon waking or just before bed is best. No, the idea is not to have NO thoughts...the idea is to PRACTICE focusing on your breathe and when you notice yourself drifting off in thought bring your awareness back to the breathe. That's why it's called practice...it's not meant to be done perfectly.

  Pay attention (with detachment) to your thoughts when you're having an emotional reaction and when you're meditating. What story do you tell yourself about others and yourself?

  Get energy treatments/Reiki regularly. I found the single most beneficial part of getting these treatments is that it really does help you to get in touch with the unconscious part of you and helps to WAKE IT UP!

  Work with a health coach, life coach, therapist....take your pick! Working with someone else on your goals gives you an opportunity to work with someone who is not emotionally connected to you and your situation, so they will challenge you to challenge yourself. Remember, you know yourself best and all the answers lie within YOU. That said...sometimes when in denial or dealing with our inner saboteur we tell ourselves what we want to hear to keep us stuck. Working with someone else will either push you out of your comfort zone or at the very least it will let you know you're on the right path and confirm that you need to trust yourself. 

  Once you tap into your unconscious thoughts you literally can change your life in ANY direction or area you choose! We will talk about this subject more next time as we delve into "Energetic Imprints on our Mind, Body, and Spirit and How That Affects Our Lives".

  Yours in health, Joanna Rose