Guilt and Self Care

From August 2012

Do you ever experience feeling guilty for wanting to put yourself first? Or how about when buying a new outfit for yourself? Taking a day just for you? I hear this from Mothers all the time....many tend to put themselves last when it comes to caring for their family. I don’t have children, and yet, I’ve felt this more times than I can count for wanting pretty things, or taking time for a decadent nap in the middle of the afternoon. I wonder, is this something that’s inherent in women or people in general?
I know for me it’s a tug of war with my beliefs, at least in the realm of making a new purchase.. I don’t care for consumerism in general, as I think it separates us (the human race) as a whole, and so the idea of buying something new feels like it goes against my desire for community and connection. Too often in my past did I buy something new because I was actually feeling lonely and wanted a “pick me up”. Instead of reaching out or getting out to be around kind folk, I shut my need for connection out and replaced it with something glittery and flowy. Also, I care for the earth and I’m sure the best way to care for her is not to use her resources for my need for something new.
As for taking time for just me, to indulge myself seems unproductive and inefficient. How can I be helping others or our planet if I am so self focused? Consider this... Our bodies are so connected to Mother Earth. We breathe in her air, we eat foods produced by her soil, drink water from her sources, and all the stuff we use, reuse, recycle, and throw away all came from her resources. Not to mention all the beauty that surrounds us affects our spirit in a big way if we’d only stop or slow down long enough to really take it in and feel it. As a society, we have become disconnected from the earth and our bodies. That’s evident in oil spills, destruction to wildlife, unsustainable life that promotes the corporation instead of the community. It’s evident in increasing numbers of obesity, heart related illness, and cancers taking over our collective bodies. These are just a few of many examples out there.

I’ve come to the conclusion (for myself and at this time) that in order to take care of our earth and each other we need to start with the basics of taking care of our bodies, and also our minds and spirit. By taking care of ourselves, we have more than enough to share with others, and to me that’s what it’s all about in the end anyway. Building community, sharing love and truth with each other, and enjoying life together.

Balance and awareness are key for me. Balancing work and play, and giving myself pretty things, whether it comes from goodwill or it’s brand new. I tend to lean towards purchasing new items from local artisans and small businesses, and that feels good to me. Slowing down enough to be able to assess how I feel and what my thoughts and emotions are keeps me in touch with my truth. If I really want to be hugged because I’m sad, I ask for a hug. If what I want is to get in touch with my feminine side and she wants something glittery than by all means.....

“Remain faithful to the earth, my brothers, with the power of your virtue. Let your gift-giving love and your knowledge serve the meaning of the earth. Thus I beg and beseech you. Do not let them fly away from earthly things and beat with their wings against eternal walls. Alas, there has always been so much virtue that has flown away. Lead back to the earth the virtue that flew away, as I do—back to the body, back to life, that it may give the earth a meaning, a human meaning.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

What are your thoughts on this topic?